Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
