i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
