the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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