Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Everything about him screamed your future.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
