Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
