Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
plz talk dirty to me
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
