let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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