Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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