i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
