Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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