you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
