Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
