I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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