hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
