I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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