Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize