I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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