No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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