puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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