I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
