I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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