Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
