walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
