you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize