I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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