Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize