wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
