I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize