Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We have started to decorate penises.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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