help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
