i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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