Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
