xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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