I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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