I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
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My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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