Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
