Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We were destined to go to rehab together
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
