My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize