I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
