Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
