we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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