Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
