Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
