also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize