At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
