Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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