I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
