I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
