If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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