I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize