Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
