Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
