State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
