how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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