do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
