God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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