lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
