i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
