The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
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i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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