Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize